By: Adam Forgety
I was never AGAINST adoption, it was always an option, but God had to work on my heart to show me that adoption COULD possibly be our only option.
It all started when Khylee and I got back together the second time around. I knew adoption was what Khylee wanted to do ever since she was a little girl, but now that we were back together and knew we were going to get married, the adoption reality was staring at me in the face. Don't get me wrong, like I said before, I was never against adoption. It's just I thought it would be nice for us to start our family off with a couple of Adalees and Khydams...and yes, we did think of those as our kids names...maybe different spellings.
So here we were, Khylee feeling that adoption could be the only way we have children, and me feeling that we should do both. We decided to make a deal that each of us would pray that God would at least make each of us OK with how the other one felt. And that's when it happened! Actually, nothing happened, not for awhile at least. I know you were expecting that prayers would be answered immediately. Nope, it wasn't until a little over a year ago when God began to place people into my life to soften my heart toward adoption. First was a man in our choir who shared with me that they had adopted their first son, which I didn't know they had. Then shortly after that, another member of the choir shared with me that he was adopted, which I didn't know he was. And the crazy thing about his story is that his biological last name was his adopted last name in Spanish! The last thing was I had a surgery. I won't tell you what surgery but I had a surgery. And when I was laying on the couch in pain, I finally realized for the first time that I was never the one in control of even having birth children of my own. This whole time I was making plans for my life that I had no control over. I wasn't allowing God to build the family he desired for me. Now the surgery had nothing to do with infertility, in fact the doctor assured us of that, but the fact is, it could have been a problem. OK God you have my attention!
God did have my attention and what he was showing me was this...Many times, adoption is Plan B for those who cannot have biological children. Not a bad thing at all, but he was showing me through Khylee and these other circumstances, that He wants adoption for us to be Plan A. John Piper puts it this way in his sermon, Adoption: The Heart of the Gospel:
Adoption in God’s mind was not Plan B. He predestined us for adoption before the creation of the world. Plan A was not lots of children who never sin and never need to be redeemed. Plan A was creation, fall, redemption, adoption so that the full range of God’s glory and mercy and grace could be known by his adopted children. Adoption was not second best. It was planned from the beginning.
In our lives, there is something uniquely precious about having children by birth. That is a good plan. There is also something different, but also uniquely precious, about adopting children. Each has its own uniqueness. Your choice to adopt children may be sequentially second. But does not have to be secondary. It can be as precious and significant as having children by birth. God is able to make adoption an A+ plan in our lives. Scripture reference (Ephesians 1:4-6)
I am so thankful I was not Plan B on God's mind. I am so thankful He has put in my heart a love for children who may not look like me, talk like me or have the same type of background as me. But the truth is is that I didn't look like Jesus, talk like Jesus or have the same background as Jesus for God to love me and adopt me into His family, where only four of my brothers and sisters look anything like me!
By: Adam Forgety
Most Americans probably went through their day today just like any other day. (besides perhaps the slight annoyance that the bank or post office was closed)
This year this holiday has taken on a new meaning for me. I soon will be the parent of a child whose skin is different than mine. Our family won't be just like every other family on the block. I am sure we will face some if not lots of opposition.
I obviously studied Martin Luther King, Jr. in school but now, as an adult, everything this man did and stood for means so much more to me.
Today while looking online for a specific Martin Luther King, Jr. quote, I found several that just blew my mind. He spoke not only against racism but ALL social injustice. I couldn't stop reading. Quote after quote after quote. WOW. I would love to say just ONE thing in my lifetime that is a fraction as profound as one of these quotes and he has MULTIPLE profoud quotes!
One theme that really stood out for me in several of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s quotes was this:
Allowing the bad is just as harmful as the actual act.
Here are some quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr. that really spoke to me today:
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.
Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.
Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'
The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitue. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.