A New Journey

By: Khylee

Being a mother. No one can prepare you for it.  You can read all the books required by your adoption agency, but when those little eyes are staring back at you in defiance and you hear “I don’t want to” all that knowledge flies out the window.

For those of you who don’t know, Adam and I have become foster parents to two precious kiddos.

To be honest we weren’t looking for this.  When we started the adoption process the words came out of my mouth that we would NEVER do foster care.  But, the Lord has changed both Adam and I’s heart so much over the last year that when we found out these babies needed a home, where they could be safe and loved on, without hesitation we said “yes.”

I don’t mean that in anyway to say “look at us and what we are doing.”  Far from it.  I don’t feel qualified.  We didn’t feel “ready” to be parents.  We.are.stressed.beyond.belief.  But like Scott, a friend of Adam’s said, God equips the called.  And we know we are called, and he is being faithful to give us what we need EACH day.

In the last two weeks I have learned that:

·         Shaving your legs is not a necessity.

·         How do women with children always look so pulled together and cute.  I am lucky if my outfit matches and that I haven’t already worn it that week.

·         Don’t wear a v-neck shirt/dress (or any low neck-line) while toting around a 19 month old…you will be exposed.

·         If you wear a t-shirt and underwear in the morning while getting kids ready, the painter will see you.

·         Hallelujah if dinner gets on the table.

·         Sleep…oh sweet, sweet sleep.  I need you in order to function.

·         Discipline looks completely different for an almost 3 year old and a 19 month old. 

·         Discipline=love. 

·         I need more patience.  And I need to learn how to ask for help.

·         There is nothing better than hearing at 6:45 in the morning “Ty-lee” “Oh Ty-lee”

·         Kids who have experienced hurt or loss  and are toddler age, won’t always know how to tell you what they are feeling so they will act it out, throw tantrums, refuse to eat dinner, push you away when you are trying to love on them.  We are learning how to love them through it…and it isn’t always easy.

·         It’s ok to cry. 

·         Routine. Routine. Routine.

·         Cuddling and rocking our little man are gifts from God.

·         Visit days are hard days. The kids just don’t completely understand what is going on and so they act it out in their behavior.

Through this process I have also learned ways that people have helped that have blessed us so much (and that made me cry in gratitude).  So if you know of a family that is fostering, or has just adopted, here are some sure fire ways that you can help out:

·         TAKE THEM A MEAL.  I cannot express how much this can help a family whose dynamics have completely changed overnight.  We have had a couple of families at our church do this and it is SOO nice knowing that you don’t have to worry about it.

·         HELP THEM UNLOAD THE KIDS.  At church on Sunday, a man I know well in our church saw me pull up and helped me unload the kids out of the car and take them to their class.  I am crying as I type this for how much I appreciated this small gesture.

·         TOYS/FURNITURE/CLOTHING/ETC.  If you have extra stuff laying around the house that isn’t being used,  see if the family needs any of it.  Many times the kiddos don’t come with much so there is a lot of items that the family needs to purchase.

·         BABYSIT FOR FREE.  While you may not feel called to foster a child, this is a service you can provide that would help the mom and dad to have a night to reconnect and reenergize.

¹⁴ But I trust in You, Lord;
I say, “You are my God.” 
¹⁵ The course of my life is in Your power;

                                       -Psalm 31:14-15a