ETHIOPIA

By the Folsoms:

With just a one week notice - we jumped on a plane to Ethiopia to FINALLY see our SON!

There were feelings of excitement, nervousness, and even fear. The trip was a whirlwind! 

Many of our pictures we cannot show because they include other children.

So here are a few....

  

First stop on our trip was Dubai. We stayed there overnight to save us a

couple of thousand dollars on flights.

There we saw: The world's tallest building, a building that had a tennis court on top,

the world's largest mall.... 

Nice EVERYTHING. The airport looked like Las Vegas. It was unbelievable.

My beautiful hunk of a man. ;)

Matt can make friends with ANYONE - ANYWHERE.

FINALLY TO ETHIOPIA!

Matt playing soccer with our son- Yabsira.

This is scaffolding.... say what?!?!

The pictures below are of some AMAZING families that God placed in our lives while in Ethiopia. (Have I mentioned how awesome God is??!??!)

WHAT A BLESSING these families were to us! 

We LOVED Ethiopia.

The streets were alive! The culture is beautiful. Coffee is everywhere. There is no such thing as late. (Which I happen to love!)

The people were beautiful. LIKE FOR REAL! Matt & I said we should open up a modeling agency & start scouting there. Every single day when we walked down the road we saw someone that looked like a model. WHOA. It's insane!

Speaking of insane.... Traffic like I have never seen! Our daily ventures out in a van were both terrifying and mesmerizing. I loved seeing the people, the businesses, the landscapes, the culture as we dodged in & out of traffic daily.

Ethiopians are entrepreneurs! There are businesses and people doing business everywhere. You can buy a soccer ball at a stand that is next to a stand where you can buy clothes that is next to a stand where you can get your shoes shined that is next to a stand where you can buy a goat. You could find coffee on pretty much any street. (which I also loved!)

I loved, loved, LOVED the food. That is one thing that I cannot wait for when we return. (and I am going to attempt to cook some of these dishes!)  Our (AMAZING) guide took us to an authentic Ethiopian family restaurant with live music & dancing while we were there. It is something that I will never forget! (should I post the video of them getting Matt up & trying to get him to dance!???!)

OH MY. My mouth is watering just by looking at this picture. SO GOOD.

Matt feeding me the first bite is supposed to symbolize that he is saying he promises to take care of me. (by Ethiopian tradition) 

These were just after we passed court & Yabsira officially became OUR SON!

PRAISE GOD! 

So now that we are home, I have answered this questions

19 billion times....

"Where is he?!?"

Well, right now we are waiting on the US Embassy to clear us. We should be returning to Ethiopia sometime in August to bring our boy HOME!

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*When we return to Ethiopia we are wanting to take back a few suitcases filled with donations for the orphanage where Yabsira has lived. We are asking for your help!

Next time you run to Walmart pick up ONE extra item. Yeah - just ONE! That's all it takes to HELP & make a difference!

Children's medicines, hygiene items, croc shoes, baby items, first aid items, baby wipes....

If you are interested in making a donation let me know. I can get you a list of items needed.

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The Folsom's Adoption Journey: Take Two

Adoption Journey: TAKE TWO

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Our initial adoption journey began over two years ago! It hasn't been the smoothest of journeys. It seemed as if things could go wrong, they DID! Even after all of the bumps in the road our personal case faced, adoptions in the country of Ghana had an entire struggle all their own. If you are keeping up with the adoption world at all, you will find that adoptions are being halted in Ghana and it is unknown when or if they will open in the future. I have been avoiding blogging about this topic because it is very difficult, very private, and I felt like if I announced it it was too official and I was admitting failure or giving up. (this will be a blog for another day...)

We Please know, we are NOT abandoning our initial adoption. But do know that we believe God has provided us with an incredible opportunity to adopt!

Here is our SECOND dossier! 

It is all submitted! (phew!) I am not going to lie, it was a bit daunting starting the adoption paper chase, yet again! But this time, I knew what it meant to get a document apostiled. I knew where to go to get fingerprinted. I had read the books and researched the professionals. Yes, we had another home study!

We CANNOT wait until the day we can share information about this adoption!

We cannot wait to show you all pictures of his sweet face and happy grin!

Trusting in God's perfect plan and timing,

Matt & Courtney

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Forgety Family: Update

I received a birthday card from one of my aunt’s back in March, who is so sweet and always sends me a card, with a comment that she misses the updates on the blog.  And I thought to myself, “Has it really been that long since I updated? I just posted last week.”

Well, it’s been more like 4 months. Whatev.

So…here is quick recap of our adoption progress over the last 4 months:

·         January 9^th:  Received our updated number of 76

·         February 16^th: Received our new number of 74

·         April 9^th: Received our new number of 67

Nothing terribly exciting but still progress none-the-less towards bringing our kiddo(s) home.  We are about to have to start the process of updating all our paperwork/fingerprints/etc.  and that thought alone makes me have a mini panic attack.  

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Until then we are hanging out with our two small tator tots that:

• are learning to use the big potty,
• like to give hugs straight out of the bath tub while they are still soaking wet, 
• call us "Ty-lee" and "A-don", 
• like to pray about their poop, 
• change clothes at an alarming rate, 
• throw wild-eye hissy fits because we cannot magically produce juice at any given moment in time, and on command
• and love us despite all the flaws Adam and I have.

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Forgety Family: Our First Number

By: Khylee Forgety

WE FINALLY GOT OUR NUMBER!

(Back in September, but life has been crazy with the two extras at our house,

so thanks for the grace and prayer)

This is a big step forward for our adoption process and we couldn’t be more happy to finally be at this point.  But what does it mean?

In Honduras, the process for getting a referral is a little bit different than other countries.  Everyone that is adopting from the country gets put on ONE BIG list.  We are #81 on that list to get a referral for a child.  As families lower on the list are assigned a referral than our number will drop.  It could drop one, two, or five numbers or not drop at all. 

So now we wait.  Wait for that number to get lower and lower. 

Thankfully, we have TWO little rugrats at the house keeping us busy by teaching us how to kiss boo-boos, play dress-up and horsey, fix kid friendly meals, and how to be a parent.

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One Step Closer

By: Khylee

 

Photo By: Courtney Folsom Photography

Well we received some awesome, stupendous, triple fist pump kinda news here in Forgety household.  Our dossier was translated and officially submitted to the INHFA committee for approval on June 8^th, 2012! 

Praise the Lord! Halleljuah!

Translation- all we are waiting on now is for this committee to approve our dossier and then we will be assigned our waitlist number!

It could be this month, it could be next month, it could be the September.  But once we are on that blessed waitlist we will finally start the “official” wait for our children.  (Yes, that’s right, we haven’t even started our 2-4 year estimated wait-time that our agency gave.)

So, please be praying this month that our documents won’t be expired,  that the committee will meet, and that we get approved and assigned a number!

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New Perspective

By: Courtney

I truly believe that God's timing is perfect. How many of us can look back at events in our lives and see God's hand ALL over it? At the time it might have seemed so dark and lonely but looking back it was all part of His master plan.

That exact reason is why I am trusting 100% in God's timing with our adoption. I have faith that His timing is perfect. While the wait can be grueling, I know he is using it to teach me. I can already see the work He is doing in me in this short (or not so short) period of time.

He has given me a new perspective in so many areas. One area the Lord has truly opened my eyes and my heart to recently is foster care.

In the past I had such a misconception about foster care. (I believe many of us do!) What is the first thing you hear when you say "foster care"? "Oh, I could never do that. It would be too hard to give them back."

This comment now ignites a fire in me. I, too, have previously thought and said this statement. But man oh man, the Lord has changed my perspective.

First, it started with the facts. I heard a sermon about foster care in Oklahoma. The facts were staggering. The pastor's call to the church was heart wrenching. The Holy Spirit tugging at my heart was undeniable.
(City Church Tulsa - http://citychurchtulsa.com/media/page/3  111Project:Defending the Fatherless)
http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/18930861

Here are some facts -

Research shows that young people in foster care are far more likely to endure homelessness, poverty, compromised health, unemployment and incarceration after they leave the foster care system.

• 54 % earn a high school diploma
• 2% earn a Bachelor’s degree or higher
• 84% become parents too soon, exposing their children to a repeated cycle of neglect and abuse
• 51% are unemployed
• 30% have no health insurance
• 25% experience homelessness
• 30% receive public assistance

(angelfoster.org)

the above facts are national and not specific to Oklahoma


Forty-five percent of Americans believe that kids are in foster care because they committed a crime. The reality is that children enter foster care as victims of neglect, abandonment, or abuse. It’s not their fault they don’t have a home. The average age of a foster child is nine, but they range from infants to teens.

(parentsociety.com)

the above facts are national and not specific to Oklahoma

According to Oklahoma DHS statistics, in January of 2011 there were over 8000 children in foster care in the state of Oklahoma; of those 8000 over 40% were under the age of four. 

(http://www.annashousefoundation.org/)

A little education goes a long way. I was blown away by the statistics!


I started thinking. Ok, maybe we could foster a little baby.


Second, it continued with experience. I met foster children, foster parents, and former foster children. Once you you have a real life encounter and put a face to a specific injustice, you will never be the same. It is one thing to say "foster children" in a generic term that means some children far away somewhere. But it is different when you say "Sarah" or "Billy" and you know this person on a personal level.

I saw real families, real people I know, loving foster children and pouring into their lives for a few short months or some even for years. I saw the love of Christ displayed through these families.

I saw sweet, innocent little children living in a youth shelter because there were no foster homes.

I started thinking. Ok, maybe we could foster a young child.

Every time you allow the Lord into one small part of your heart he shows you more and more and continues to make you grow more and more. Every single time I start opening myself up to the possibility that the Lord could use me in some tiny way, the Lord blows the doors wide open and shows me so much more.

Because then I met a sweet teenage girl without a family to take care of her.

The Lord was showing me - THESE ARE MY CHILDREN.

ALL of these children are mine and I love EACH and EVERY one of them!

Then I started thinking. We could and WOULD be open to fostering or adopting any age child. Why don't I stop putting limitations on what I will do for the Lord and just say YES, LORD! Whatever it is! Whatever you are calling us to do - the answer is YES!

"Let the little children come to me, do not hinder them. For the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

"Whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me." Matthew 18:5


"The harvest is plenty, the workers are few." Matthew 9:37 

He says it time and time again:

Seek justice.

Love mercy.

Defend the fatherless.

Welcome a little child.

We are all fearfully and wonderfully made.

He knows the number of hairs on each child's head.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

When will I start listening?

Yes, we are still adopting. Yes, we are still adopting internationally. Yes, we are going to wait as long as it takes to bring our little Richmond home. 

But - YES I think the Lord has called us to love and protect children. I believe he has specifically called our family to be an advocate for children. 
There is such NEED. There is such need EVERYWHERE!

I strongly encourage you to consider foster care, adoption, or even just volunteering your time. Be a tutor, a mentor, a friend. Step out there for the "least of these".

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Thank You is not enough!

Words cannot express the appreciation we feel. THANK YOU is just not enough. The people of Velma Baptist Church have truly shown us what it means to be the hands and feet of Christ and what it means to be brothers and sisters in Christ! I am literally getting teary-eyed as I type this!

A friend of mine (Dana Rose -my life-long friend!) had asked me recently on one of our early morning chats (I find these calls, and her friendship, to be refreshing to my soul!) if we would be free for a dinner fundraiser. I was thinking just a simple, spaghetti dinner.

Oh, my little dreams.... wow.... were BLOWN OUT OF THE WATER!!!

First, at church Sunday morning they surprised us with “Change an Orphan’s World” change buckets that families had taken home months ago and filled with their change. It is amazing how far loose change can go!

Sunday evening Matt and I came into the Fellowship Center where the dinner was going to be held. I could not believe my eyes! (or ears!) The decorations were all in the colors of the Ghana flag.

There was a huge Ghana flag! (thank you to the Sanner family for this amazing flag! I actually want to hang it in our house!) There was even a children’s choir from Ghana playing over the sound system.

I could not hold back the tears!

In the kitchen were the young (selfless) ladies working away! Some of the ladies I have known their entire life and some I did not even know. It made me so proud to see these young ladies being the women of the church! They cooked. They cleaned. They decorated. They served.

There’s more….
There was a dessert auction set up. Several members of the church had made desserts for the dessert auction. (Even a college boy made a dessert! Thank you Cord Gothard! That just blows my mind! AND his dessert was amazing!)

And the people….
It was so great to get to talk with all the people there. They are all like family! Each and every person was genuinely concerned about our adoption, about our son. They all hugged us, loved on us, and encouraged us.

Velma Baptist Church is not the largest church out there. They don’t have thousands of members. (shoot, Velma doesn’t have thousands of people!) But they do have LOVING and GENEROUS people! They do have families that have a heart for orphans, families that are willing to give to help out others, families that choose to live out what the Bible says.

I am so blessed to have EVER been part of such a wonderful church and a loving community. I am so blessed to have life-long friends that love me and care about my needs. I am so blessed that others in my life are faithful to live out the Gospel.

Acts 20:35 In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’

Hebrews 13:16 Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

Philippians 2:4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

1 John 3:17 But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?

Hebrews 6:10 For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers, as you still do.

TO ALL OF YOU THAT HELPED OUT IN ANY WAY –

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!  MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU TENFOLD! YOU HAVE GONE ABOVE AND BEYOND! YOU ARE CHANGING THE LIFE OF AN ORPHAN. YOUR SELFLESS GIVING IS HAVING AN ETERNAL IMPACT! YOUR ACTS OF LOVE MEAN MORE TO US THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!

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In Honduras

By: Khylee

Our dossier is in officially in HONDURAS!!!!!! Excited is an understatement for all the emotions Adam and I are feeling!

I received word from our agency this afternoon that our little stack of love has made it from the United States all the way to the Tegucigalpa, Honduras.   

So lets recap:

• May 21, 2011: Came back from vacation and decided to adopt...who does that?
• June 2011: Sent off Application #1 to Dillon
• July 2011: Sent off Application #2 to Dillon
• August 2011: Approved for Home Study
• October 2011: Finished both home study visits
• December 16, 2011: Approved by Dillon to begin Dossier
• February 02, 2012: Approval for fingerprints at the USCIS office
• February 24, 2012: Fingerprinting at the USCIS Office
• March 28, 2012: Received 171-H, our last document for our dossier
• April 12, 2012: Sent dossier to Buckner
• April 23, 2012: Dossier officially in Honduras

 So from here our dossier is in the process of translation, approval from INHFA in Honduras, and then we will be on the waitlist for our kiddos.

We still have a while before our children come home, but today we are rejoicing that we are one step closer to them! (triple fist pump....)  

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the Dossier

By: Khylee

This 6 lb beauty left our house Thursday of last week, that's right, I birthed a 6 lb paper stack!  Many of you may be wondering, what is that thing?  Well it is the beloved Dossier, the final set of paperwork that will actually be submitted to Honduras, and it has been my life for the last 5 months.  With this small stack of paperwork, we will FINALLY be on the list to begin waiting for our children. 

When we started this process in June of 2011, my goal was to have this thing submitted by January 2012.  We came up a little short of that goal, but four months later, and few thousand dollars poorer we are done, finished, finito.  Through this entire process I have learned a few things about my need to always be in control.  Courtney sent me this quote the other day:

"When our [plans] are interrupted, His are not. His plans are proceeding exactly as scheduled, moving us always (including those minutes or hours or years which seem most useless or wasted or unendurable) "toward the goal of true maturity" (Rom 12:2 JBP)." - Elisabeth Elliot

 There have been countless days that have felt wasted and useless throughout the last 10 months. But God is the author of this adoption story, not Khylee and Adam.  As much as I want it to go quicker, to be done, to know who our kids are, I also know that there is a purpose, a reason for every wait that we have encountered and every piece of paperwork that has had to be redone. We will be on the perfect spot on the wait list, so that we will get OUR kids, the ones that the Lord has chosen to become a part of our family. 

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Thanks, thanks, many thanks!

By: Khylee

 Courtney, Matt, Adam and I would like to thank EVERYONE of you who ordered a t-shirt, bought a bracelet, ordered a calendar, or have donated just because you felt led, and prayed with us and for us.  Thank you honestly cannot begin to describe how much we appreciate your help in helping us bring our children home. We still have a few extra t-shirts in both designs if anyone you know has commented on what a rocking t-shirt you are wearing (click here to see designs).  

And because I couldn't resist, here is Adam and I with the two precious girls from His Little Feet that stayed with us for 4 days in February.    

ARE THEY BOTH NOT ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!!!

Tsion & Gracia- We love you both and miss your smiles, your laughs, your singing, the large amount of fruit that you eat, recording with Uncle Adam, fixing Auntie Khylee's hair, saving Tsion from the dogs and playing Just Dance! Big, big, big hugs!!!!!!

Give Auntie Brooke a big hug from us too!!!

 

 

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I'm Human....

By: Khylee

To say that I have been frustrated during the last month would be an understatement.  For the first time since we have started this process I have felt hopelessness …. We are no where closer to finishing our dossier than when I updated everyone last month.  We have almost 90% of our documents in our folder waiting to be apostiled (another level of notary done by the State Attorney General), but several BIG things are still in the process.

Let me just paint a picture for you about how this month has went:

I have read many a blog where women have divulged that they forgot an important piece of paperwork, or didn’t read something right in a set of agency instructions and had to redo an item…and my Type A self would say “I will never do that, I have got things under control.”

Oh how very wrong I was.

First, I discover that we were supposed to have our psychological evaluation completed during the home study process, BACK IN OCTOBER.  I had no idea, none, zero. I’m floating around in Lala land think we are just trucking right along making great progress. “The psychological evaluation will only take one appointment and it will be a quick process,” I said to myself. Oh how very, very wrong I was. Our agency was good to let us go ahead and continue on (I hope that means that they don’t think we are crazy) and one month later we are just now finishing it up…..

The second scenario went down something like this. Standing on the front porch I see a big white envelope hanging out of the mail and joyfully open it expecting to see a date for us to go to get our fingerprints completed and instead I am greeted with a sweet love note from the Federal Government stating our fingerprint application is not complete.  We forgot a signature. That’s right. A. SIGNATURE. How many times did I check those documents before they were mailed, oh you know, a thousand, but whatever.  I was sick to my stomach and mad at myself for wasting more precious time when our children could potentially be out there, waiting.  There goes another 2 weeks on something so small, yet so significant.

But, through it all, the Lord continues to remind and comfort me:

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently.  For it will surely take place. It will NOT be delayed."

"...I will not forget you. See I have engraved you on the palms of my hand." Isaiah 49:15b-16a  

His timing is always  perfect, and I am learning to completely trust in this truth.

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Helpful Resources

By: Courtney and Khylee

 

Once you decide to journey down the road of adoption,  we (Courtney and Khylee) have found how absolutely vital it is to get educated, find sources of support and encouragement, and get helpful hints for the long journey that lies ahead

We have compiled a list of resources we have found helpful or inspiring below.  So if you are thinking about adopting, are in the process of adopting, have family or friends that are adopting, check out these books, blogs, links to articles, videos, and kids books.  (Also, if you have resource that has been helpful or encouraging, leave us a comment with it below! We would love to read them!)

Books

Fields of the Fatherless


Courtney
In Bible times, God maintained a special provision for the less fortunate. As His people harvested their fields, they were instructed to always leave a portion of the crops for those in need.
Today, God's heart continues to beat for the poor, the widows, and the fatherless. And as His children, our divine commission remains the same, a directive that's nothing less than the heart of the Christian message.
Author Tom Davis encourages us to move beyond words and become Christ to those in need. Join Tom as he shares a journey from around the world and our own backyard as people's lives are changed through the power of compassion. Filled with remarkable stories of hope and mercy, Fields of the Fatherless will inspire you to love "the least of these," and discover the joy found in becoming the hands and feet of Christ.


I loved how this book has story after story of REAL people that are living out the Gospel in their every day lives and being the hands & feet of Christ. I would recommend this book for ANY person. (adopting or not!)


The Connected Child

Courtney
This book was one of the required books our agency has asked us to read in our preparation. So reading can sometimes feel a lot like homework.  Several other books have definitely felt like homework. I opened this book with the same expectations, but I was pleasantly surprised. I found this book to be one of the most useful books I have read dealing with adoption.

This book helped me understand how so many factors affect children and how discipline issues frequently stem from fear. Attachment, discipline, brain chemistry, and even nutrition were topics covered.  This book also had actual, real, practical advice and strategies (which many other books I have encountered do not). I highly recommend this book for any family that is adopting.

Adopted for Life

Khylee
A great book from the point of view of an adoptive father and pastor. Russell Moore gives a solid theological stance for the necessary purpose of adoption along with giving practical advice for families just getting started in the process. The line in the book that still resonates in my mind is "Adoption is not charity, it is spiritual warfare."














Orphanology

Khylee
Another great theologically based book that combines the  command from the bible to Christians to take care of the orphan (adoption being just one avenue) with incredible stories from the journey's of individuals who have taken up the cause of helping the defenseless.

Kids books

We're Different We're the Same

I (Courtney) have become sightly obsessed with children's books that talk about adoption or being perfect the way you are created. This book is great for ANY child. It is seriously just absolutely sweet & adorable. The book points out features we all have that are different but how they are used for the same tasks. "Our eyes are the same. They see, they blink, they weep, they wink."

The closing line of the book...

We're different. We're the same. We're wonderful.

Who wouldn't want their child to receive this message?

Links to other helpful blog posts:

• Adoption: The Heart of the Gospel by John Piper
• A GREAT guide on what TO say and what NOT to say by Jen Hatmaker 
• Another great set of tips on what is appropriate and inappropriate to say by Under the Sun
• The real side of things once you get home (not for those with a weak stomach) by Under the Sun
• Lets be Real Guide to Attachment by the Farmer's Wife 

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