Forgety Family: Update

I received a birthday card from one of my aunt’s back in March, who is so sweet and always sends me a card, with a comment that she misses the updates on the blog.  And I thought to myself, “Has it really been that long since I updated? I just posted last week.”

Well, it’s been more like 4 months. Whatev.

So…here is quick recap of our adoption progress over the last 4 months:

·         January 9^th:  Received our updated number of 76

·         February 16^th: Received our new number of 74

·         April 9^th: Received our new number of 67

Nothing terribly exciting but still progress none-the-less towards bringing our kiddo(s) home.  We are about to have to start the process of updating all our paperwork/fingerprints/etc.  and that thought alone makes me have a mini panic attack.  

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Until then we are hanging out with our two small tator tots that:

• are learning to use the big potty,
• like to give hugs straight out of the bath tub while they are still soaking wet, 
• call us "Ty-lee" and "A-don", 
• like to pray about their poop, 
• change clothes at an alarming rate, 
• throw wild-eye hissy fits because we cannot magically produce juice at any given moment in time, and on command
• and love us despite all the flaws Adam and I have.

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Forgety Family: Our First Number

By: Khylee Forgety

WE FINALLY GOT OUR NUMBER!

(Back in September, but life has been crazy with the two extras at our house,

so thanks for the grace and prayer)

This is a big step forward for our adoption process and we couldn’t be more happy to finally be at this point.  But what does it mean?

In Honduras, the process for getting a referral is a little bit different than other countries.  Everyone that is adopting from the country gets put on ONE BIG list.  We are #81 on that list to get a referral for a child.  As families lower on the list are assigned a referral than our number will drop.  It could drop one, two, or five numbers or not drop at all. 

So now we wait.  Wait for that number to get lower and lower. 

Thankfully, we have TWO little rugrats at the house keeping us busy by teaching us how to kiss boo-boos, play dress-up and horsey, fix kid friendly meals, and how to be a parent.

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One Step Closer

By: Khylee

 

Photo By: Courtney Folsom Photography

Well we received some awesome, stupendous, triple fist pump kinda news here in Forgety household.  Our dossier was translated and officially submitted to the INHFA committee for approval on June 8^th, 2012! 

Praise the Lord! Halleljuah!

Translation- all we are waiting on now is for this committee to approve our dossier and then we will be assigned our waitlist number!

It could be this month, it could be next month, it could be the September.  But once we are on that blessed waitlist we will finally start the “official” wait for our children.  (Yes, that’s right, we haven’t even started our 2-4 year estimated wait-time that our agency gave.)

So, please be praying this month that our documents won’t be expired,  that the committee will meet, and that we get approved and assigned a number!

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In Honduras

By: Khylee

Our dossier is in officially in HONDURAS!!!!!! Excited is an understatement for all the emotions Adam and I are feeling!

I received word from our agency this afternoon that our little stack of love has made it from the United States all the way to the Tegucigalpa, Honduras.   

So lets recap:

• May 21, 2011: Came back from vacation and decided to adopt...who does that?
• June 2011: Sent off Application #1 to Dillon
• July 2011: Sent off Application #2 to Dillon
• August 2011: Approved for Home Study
• October 2011: Finished both home study visits
• December 16, 2011: Approved by Dillon to begin Dossier
• February 02, 2012: Approval for fingerprints at the USCIS office
• February 24, 2012: Fingerprinting at the USCIS Office
• March 28, 2012: Received 171-H, our last document for our dossier
• April 12, 2012: Sent dossier to Buckner
• April 23, 2012: Dossier officially in Honduras

 So from here our dossier is in the process of translation, approval from INHFA in Honduras, and then we will be on the waitlist for our kiddos.

We still have a while before our children come home, but today we are rejoicing that we are one step closer to them! (triple fist pump....)  

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the Dossier

By: Khylee

This 6 lb beauty left our house Thursday of last week, that's right, I birthed a 6 lb paper stack!  Many of you may be wondering, what is that thing?  Well it is the beloved Dossier, the final set of paperwork that will actually be submitted to Honduras, and it has been my life for the last 5 months.  With this small stack of paperwork, we will FINALLY be on the list to begin waiting for our children. 

When we started this process in June of 2011, my goal was to have this thing submitted by January 2012.  We came up a little short of that goal, but four months later, and few thousand dollars poorer we are done, finished, finito.  Through this entire process I have learned a few things about my need to always be in control.  Courtney sent me this quote the other day:

"When our [plans] are interrupted, His are not. His plans are proceeding exactly as scheduled, moving us always (including those minutes or hours or years which seem most useless or wasted or unendurable) "toward the goal of true maturity" (Rom 12:2 JBP)." - Elisabeth Elliot

 There have been countless days that have felt wasted and useless throughout the last 10 months. But God is the author of this adoption story, not Khylee and Adam.  As much as I want it to go quicker, to be done, to know who our kids are, I also know that there is a purpose, a reason for every wait that we have encountered and every piece of paperwork that has had to be redone. We will be on the perfect spot on the wait list, so that we will get OUR kids, the ones that the Lord has chosen to become a part of our family. 

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Thanks, thanks, many thanks!

By: Khylee

 Courtney, Matt, Adam and I would like to thank EVERYONE of you who ordered a t-shirt, bought a bracelet, ordered a calendar, or have donated just because you felt led, and prayed with us and for us.  Thank you honestly cannot begin to describe how much we appreciate your help in helping us bring our children home. We still have a few extra t-shirts in both designs if anyone you know has commented on what a rocking t-shirt you are wearing (click here to see designs).  

And because I couldn't resist, here is Adam and I with the two precious girls from His Little Feet that stayed with us for 4 days in February.    

ARE THEY BOTH NOT ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!!!

Tsion & Gracia- We love you both and miss your smiles, your laughs, your singing, the large amount of fruit that you eat, recording with Uncle Adam, fixing Auntie Khylee's hair, saving Tsion from the dogs and playing Just Dance! Big, big, big hugs!!!!!!

Give Auntie Brooke a big hug from us too!!!

 

 

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I'm Human....

By: Khylee

To say that I have been frustrated during the last month would be an understatement.  For the first time since we have started this process I have felt hopelessness …. We are no where closer to finishing our dossier than when I updated everyone last month.  We have almost 90% of our documents in our folder waiting to be apostiled (another level of notary done by the State Attorney General), but several BIG things are still in the process.

Let me just paint a picture for you about how this month has went:

I have read many a blog where women have divulged that they forgot an important piece of paperwork, or didn’t read something right in a set of agency instructions and had to redo an item…and my Type A self would say “I will never do that, I have got things under control.”

Oh how very wrong I was.

First, I discover that we were supposed to have our psychological evaluation completed during the home study process, BACK IN OCTOBER.  I had no idea, none, zero. I’m floating around in Lala land think we are just trucking right along making great progress. “The psychological evaluation will only take one appointment and it will be a quick process,” I said to myself. Oh how very, very wrong I was. Our agency was good to let us go ahead and continue on (I hope that means that they don’t think we are crazy) and one month later we are just now finishing it up…..

The second scenario went down something like this. Standing on the front porch I see a big white envelope hanging out of the mail and joyfully open it expecting to see a date for us to go to get our fingerprints completed and instead I am greeted with a sweet love note from the Federal Government stating our fingerprint application is not complete.  We forgot a signature. That’s right. A. SIGNATURE. How many times did I check those documents before they were mailed, oh you know, a thousand, but whatever.  I was sick to my stomach and mad at myself for wasting more precious time when our children could potentially be out there, waiting.  There goes another 2 weeks on something so small, yet so significant.

But, through it all, the Lord continues to remind and comfort me:

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently.  For it will surely take place. It will NOT be delayed."

"...I will not forget you. See I have engraved you on the palms of my hand." Isaiah 49:15b-16a  

His timing is always  perfect, and I am learning to completely trust in this truth.

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Helpful Resources

By: Courtney and Khylee

 

Once you decide to journey down the road of adoption,  we (Courtney and Khylee) have found how absolutely vital it is to get educated, find sources of support and encouragement, and get helpful hints for the long journey that lies ahead

We have compiled a list of resources we have found helpful or inspiring below.  So if you are thinking about adopting, are in the process of adopting, have family or friends that are adopting, check out these books, blogs, links to articles, videos, and kids books.  (Also, if you have resource that has been helpful or encouraging, leave us a comment with it below! We would love to read them!)

Books

Fields of the Fatherless


Courtney
In Bible times, God maintained a special provision for the less fortunate. As His people harvested their fields, they were instructed to always leave a portion of the crops for those in need.
Today, God's heart continues to beat for the poor, the widows, and the fatherless. And as His children, our divine commission remains the same, a directive that's nothing less than the heart of the Christian message.
Author Tom Davis encourages us to move beyond words and become Christ to those in need. Join Tom as he shares a journey from around the world and our own backyard as people's lives are changed through the power of compassion. Filled with remarkable stories of hope and mercy, Fields of the Fatherless will inspire you to love "the least of these," and discover the joy found in becoming the hands and feet of Christ.


I loved how this book has story after story of REAL people that are living out the Gospel in their every day lives and being the hands & feet of Christ. I would recommend this book for ANY person. (adopting or not!)


The Connected Child

Courtney
This book was one of the required books our agency has asked us to read in our preparation. So reading can sometimes feel a lot like homework.  Several other books have definitely felt like homework. I opened this book with the same expectations, but I was pleasantly surprised. I found this book to be one of the most useful books I have read dealing with adoption.

This book helped me understand how so many factors affect children and how discipline issues frequently stem from fear. Attachment, discipline, brain chemistry, and even nutrition were topics covered.  This book also had actual, real, practical advice and strategies (which many other books I have encountered do not). I highly recommend this book for any family that is adopting.

Adopted for Life

Khylee
A great book from the point of view of an adoptive father and pastor. Russell Moore gives a solid theological stance for the necessary purpose of adoption along with giving practical advice for families just getting started in the process. The line in the book that still resonates in my mind is "Adoption is not charity, it is spiritual warfare."














Orphanology

Khylee
Another great theologically based book that combines the  command from the bible to Christians to take care of the orphan (adoption being just one avenue) with incredible stories from the journey's of individuals who have taken up the cause of helping the defenseless.

Kids books

We're Different We're the Same

I (Courtney) have become sightly obsessed with children's books that talk about adoption or being perfect the way you are created. This book is great for ANY child. It is seriously just absolutely sweet & adorable. The book points out features we all have that are different but how they are used for the same tasks. "Our eyes are the same. They see, they blink, they weep, they wink."

The closing line of the book...

We're different. We're the same. We're wonderful.

Who wouldn't want their child to receive this message?

Links to other helpful blog posts:

• Adoption: The Heart of the Gospel by John Piper
• A GREAT guide on what TO say and what NOT to say by Jen Hatmaker 
• Another great set of tips on what is appropriate and inappropriate to say by Under the Sun
• The real side of things once you get home (not for those with a weak stomach) by Under the Sun
• Lets be Real Guide to Attachment by the Farmer's Wife 

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