To say that I have been frustrated during the last month would be an understatement. For the first time since we have started this process I have felt hopelessness …. We are no where closer to finishing our dossier than when I updated everyone last month. We have almost 90% of our documents in our folder waiting to be apostiled (another level of notary done by the State Attorney General), but several BIG things are still in the process.
Let me just paint a picture for you about how this month has went:
I have read many a blog where women have divulged that they forgot an important piece of paperwork, or didn’t read something right in a set of agency instructions and had to redo an item…and my Type A self would say “I will never do that, I have got things under control.”
Oh how very wrong I was.
First, I discover that we were supposed to have our psychological evaluation completed during the home study process, BACK IN OCTOBER. I had no idea, none, zero. I’m floating around in Lala land think we are just trucking right along making great progress. “The psychological evaluation will only take one appointment and it will be a quick process,” I said to myself. Oh how very, very wrong I was. Our agency was good to let us go ahead and continue on (I hope that means that they don’t think we are crazy) and one month later we are just now finishing it up…..
The second scenario went down something like this. Standing on the front porch I see a big white envelope hanging out of the mail and joyfully open it expecting to see a date for us to go to get our fingerprints completed and instead I am greeted with a sweet love note from the Federal Government stating our fingerprint application is not complete. We forgot a signature. That’s right. A. SIGNATURE. How many times did I check those documents before they were mailed, oh you know, a thousand, but whatever. I was sick to my stomach and mad at myself for wasting more precious time when our children could potentially be out there, waiting. There goes another 2 weeks on something so small, yet so significant.
But, through it all, the Lord continues to remind and comfort me:
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14
"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently. For it will surely take place. It will NOT be delayed."
"...I will not forget you. See I have engraved you on the palms of my hand." Isaiah 49:15b-16a
His timing is always perfect, and I am learning to completely trust in this truth.